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How Elizabeth Smart Teaches Her 3 Kids About Safety After Kidnapping Ordeal: ‘It Is a Struggle’
Elizabeth Smart shares how she teaches her three kids about safety after surviving one of the most heavily publicized kidnapping ordeals in an exclusive interview with In Touch.
“It is a struggle because I don’t want them to be scared of the world,” says Elizabeth, 37, in her interview as part of April’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month. “But at the same time, I want them to realize that not everyone is a good person.”
Elizabeth was 14 years old when she was kidnapped at knifepoint on June 3, 2002, from the bed of her Utah home and held captive by street pastor Brian David Mitchell and his wife, Wanda Barzee. Nine months later, Elizabeth was rescued by police on March 12, 2003, on a public street in Sandy, Utah, after two witnesses recognized Mitchell, 71, and Barzee, 79, from an America’s Most Wanted episode.
Years after the traumatic incident, Elizabeth is dedicated to building a fulfilling life as she raises her three children — Chloe, 10, James, 8, and Olivia, 6— alongside her husband of 13 years, Matthew Gilmour. In their home, discussions about body autonomy, boundaries, and consent are a common topic, fostering an environment of trust and empowerment.
“I speak regularly with all of them about safety and about, you know, like this is your body and there is nothing wrong or bad or ugly about your body and but nobody has the right to touch it,” she explains. “I talk all the time about that like body safety and just safety in general. I tell them all the time, “If there’s something that makes you feel uncomfortable, like, please share it with me. Please, please let me know because this is important. This is my job is to keep you safe.”
“My older two kids are very friendly,” she exclusively tells In Touch. “They’re like happy to chat to people and it is a struggle, because on one hand I don’t want them to be scared of the world. I don’t want them to be scared of meeting new people. But at the same time, I want them to realize that not everyone is a good person, and that not everyone is harmless, that there are people out there who look for children. How do you decide, where is that line and how do you prepare them for that?”
Even if it involves loved ones, as statistically, “Most of the time, it is the people that you know who are committing the abuse or who are committing the abductions,” Elizabeth notes.
“Then it’s kind of like, well, maybe the strangers are safer than the people that you know, maybe you just have to really think twice about letting the people you do know into your home and into your life, like how well do you really know them?” she explains. “And if you know it was someone close to you and your daughter came to you and was like mom, he scares me. Or he gives really weird hugs. I don’t like his hugs. Then what do you do? Like, do you have a plan in place like does? Is that person welcome at your home anymore? Do you insist that your child give that person a hug? Do you? Are you comfortable leaving your child in a room alone with that person.”
Elizabeth urges parents to discuss these issues so a “plan can be made” in the event an uncomfortable situation arises.
“And do you just say, if you feel uncomfortable, that person is no longer welcome into our home? These are all things that I think are really important to talk about with your partner, your spouse, your children, like, have a continual family chat about it,” Elizabeth tells readers. “I mean, I would hope that everyone’s natural inclination is to believe their child. I would hope that’s everyone’s first response in this case, guilty until proven innocent and not innocent until proven guilty.”
Elizabeth’s captor was not a stranger to her world—Mitchell had briefly worked as a roofer at the Smart family home for a day in 2001. She was reportedly held captive on the outskirts of Salt Lake City and in San Diego County, California. Mitchell repeatedly raped Elizabeth during her captivity at a camp in the woods and threatened to kill her if she tried to escape.
On March 18, 2003, Mitchell and his wife were charged with aggravated kidnapping, burglary and sexual assault. Years later, in November 2009, Barzee pleaded guilty to assisting in Elizabeth’s kidnapping as part of a plea deal with prosecutors. She was sentenced to serve 15 years in federal prison and was given credit for the seven years that she had already served. Barzee was released in 2018.
As for Mitchell, he was found guilty of kidnapping and sexual assault and sentenced to two life terms in federal prison in May 2011.
If you or anyone you know has been sexually abused, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). A trained staff member will provide confidential, judgment-free support as well as local resources to assist in healing, recovering and more.
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